Civil Protection: Aliens (Part 1)

[Subtitles by danielsangeo] MIKE: Dave, I shouldn’t even have to explain this. We’re uniformed officers on duty. That means Dumpster-diving is not cool. In FACT, it wouldn’t it be cool even if we were OFF-duty. So, GET OUT OF THERE! DAVE: Hold on, I’ve almost got it. MIKE: Just hurry up before anyone sees you….

Civil Protection: Oil’s Well

[Subtitles by danielsangeo] DAVE: Hey Mike. What’s up? MIKE: Oh hey, Dave. DAVE: What are you doing? MIKE: Well, I was just sitting here, thinking. DAVE: About what? MIKE: Just how different things are now. DAVE: Yeah, you’re telling me. Man, if I could go back in time, do you know how rich I’d be…

Civil Protection: Aliens (part 2)

MIKE: You guys just don’t get it. DAVE: You’re just thinking about it too much. MIKE: Oh, and what are YOU thinking about, Socrates? DAVE: Well, now you’ve got me thinking about the Combine. MIKE: Yeah, and how they need a better name, right? DAVE: No. I mean, if we should really be working for…

Civil Protection: Shadow of A Doubt

[Subtitles by danielsangeo] DAVE (singing): My body lies over the ocean My body lies over the sea I’m no good at astral projection So bring back my body to me. MIKE: Heh. Nice. DAVE: Hey, you sing something. MIKE: No, I’m no good at that. DAVE: Oh, c’mon! Sing something. MIKE: I don’t think that’s…

Civil Protection: The Tunnel

[Subtitles by danielsangeo] DAVE: [ninja sounds] MIKE: Man, it is DEAD out here today! DAVE: Yeah, it is pretty quiet now that you mention it. MIKE: Well, not just that, but except for roll call, I haven’t seen ANYONE this morning. Not even somebody walking down the street. Nothing. DAVE: Come to think of it,…

Civil Protection: Friday

[Subtitles by danielsangeo] MIKE: Do you know who keeps stealing food from the break room? DAVE: Boonzaaah! MIKE: I’m asking because I’ve had my lunch stolen for the third time now. It wasn’t even that special this time, just a grilled cheese sandwich. DAVE: I am mighty tiger! MIKE: What? Well, the reason I’m still…

Civil Protection: On A Rail

[Subtitles by danielsangeo] MIKE: This is SO stupid! DAVE: C’mon, man, this is going to be awesome! MIKE: Yeah, well, I don’t think of dying as being very awesome. DAVE: You’ll be fine. I have it all worked out. I have the perfect spot to jump off. MIKE: Dave, are you out of your damned…

Civil Protection: Christmas Community Outreach

[Subtitles by danielsangeo] DAVE: But the camera… MAN: Don’t worry about it; just go ahead and start. DAVE: But, it’ll freeze. You have to keep it warm. MAN: No, I told you already: it’s not alive. Don’t worry about it; just start when you’re ready. DAVE: Okay…. Ho ho ho, everybody! I’m Dave, this is…

Civil Protection: Morning Patrol

[Subtitles by danielsangeo] DAVE: All right, if you were a superhero, what super power would you want? MIKE: Oh, I don’t know. DAVE: Oh, c’mon. Pick something. MIKE: Okay. How about being rich? DAVE: That’s not a super power. MIKE: It may as well be. Do you realize we’ll be working this job another 30-years…