You see the Prius? We’re going green. I can see that. ED:
Everybody in the shack! -The grand tour’s about to begin!
-Come on! I call it headquarters. And behind that wall, the war room.
A 300-square-foot humidor. The humidity in there never gets above
71 percent and never below 70. Oh! Unbelievable.
How does he come up with this stuff, huh? Aw, thank you, Mandy.
I threw in a backup generator… …in case we lose power
and the main genny doesn’t kick in. It’s absolutely epic, Ed. Who wants a Cubano, huh? Oh, wait a second, Eddie.
First I want to show them my headquarters. -Come, come.
-Everybody upstairs. Hey, Larry, I’ll get you a cigar. Come on. [ALL CHATTERING] I can’t stand these look-at-how-much-I-own
parties. They’re obnoxious. When I got my fully loaded Honda Odyssey,
I didn’t go around bragging about it, did I? Well, kind of. You made me drive
around town for two hours, remember? Well, I thought you’d like
to watch a movie in a minivan. -You never watched a movie in a minivan.
-No. But did you have
to hook your boat up to it? Yeah. Yeah. it’s a touring edition, dick. Oh. Honey, don’t show them that.
They’re gonna think we’re wackos. ED:
Sweetie, don’t keep me down. -What the hell is this?
-Get in here, you’re gonna love this. Hey, where are the guys? MAGGIE:
Wow. This is like secret-agent stuff. I think a safe room is a bit over-the-top. Ed thought with the little ones
you can never be too cautious. Oh. You’re such a good daddy. FRED [ON SCREEN]:
No, I disagree. Here comes Tweedledee
and Tweedledum. Who gets a minivan
when they don’t have any kids? FRED: Wow, man. You just don’t understand
the insurance game, do you, Rick? RICK: Ah, enlighten me.
-When you pull into a person’s driveway… …to sell them insurance,
who do you think they’d rather see? Some knucklehead hotshot
in a convertible Sebring… …or a family man in a minivan? Where is everybody? Hello? -Guys, we’re in here!
BRITNEY: They can’t hear you. Room’s soundproof. And bulletproof. Also, Curt Schilling’s
been in here, because I know him. MAGGIE:
Hmm. [Rick sighs] I guess they must’ve gone upstairs. Look at this fucking thing. RICK: I feel bad for Ed Jr.
-Mm-hm. It’s one thing if you wanna look
like Admiral Dipshit… …but then you gotta do it to your kid?
Look at that little: it’s awful. RICK: Got him, like,
looking like Thurston Howell too. “Eh …. ” [FRED IN BRITISH ACCENT]: Thanks for coming
to the war room, old chap. [FRED IN BRITISH ACCENT]: By the way, did I mention that
my wife’s vagina never goes above 71% humidity, nor below 70%? [CHUCKLING] -Um, maybe we should turn this off.
-Not a chance. [RICK IN BRITISH ACCENT]: What happens
if you lose power during a big blow… …and your main generator drops out? [FRED IN BRITISH ACCENT]: That’s why we had the backup
genny installed in Britney’s rumpus. -Here we go.
RICK [ON SCREEN]: Ah, good show. [RICK IN BRITISH ACCENT]: In the rumpus?
[FRED IN BRITISH ACCENT]: Right inside. [RICK IN BRITISH ACCENT]:
And there’s room in there?
With the stick in there? [FRED IN BRITISH ACCENT]:
We had to rotate the stick a little bit. [RICK IN BRITISH ACCENT]: But then it gives you a little room
to get it up there! FRED: Absolutely.
Can wedge anything in that ass. RICK [IN NORMAL VOICE]:
Ha-ha-ha. Your English accent’s great! FRED [IN NORMAL VOICE]:
Thank you. Speaking of installations… …what about the shiny new set of cans
on Mandy? MANDY: Oh ….
RICK: Oh, yeah. Either that or she’s buying her T-shirts
at Baby Gap. -I don’t get the whole fake-boob thing.
FRED: What don’t you get? RICK: I like my bongos with a little mileage
on them, like Britney’s. [BRITNEY GASPS] FRED: Britney’s?
No way, those are like Baja miles. RICK: I like being able to get in there
and smoosh them… …hump them, Stretch Armstrong,
just bibbety-bap them all around. Okay. All right. But what about the correlation
between floppy boobs… …and large-mouth vaginas? Okay. FRED: You look down there, it’s like,
“Hey! I’m Billy Big-Mouth Vagina.” [FRED SINGING]
Home, home on the range [FRED SINGING]
Where the big-mouth vaginas feel strange [FRED SINGING]
Where nothing is good [FRED SINGING]
And it can’t fit your wood Oh, relax. Come on, they can’t hear us. [FRED CHUCKLES] You people are horrible! Horrible! Very disappointed, gentlemen.
Very disappointed. Hey, anyone thinking chocolate-chip
cookie dough in a waffle cone? [TIRES SCREECHING] Large mouth vaginas? You thought that was funny? No. Really? You were laughing like a hyena
when he said it. Well, I was embarrassed for Fred,
to be honest. It was uncomfortable. GRACE:
What the hell is wrong with you two? You are completely obsessed with sex. Honey, obsessed is a very strong word. Oh, yeah? This morning
you left the computer on CockGobblers.com I get my weather from that site. Ed.